The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, celebration, and connection. Yet for many people, this time of year brings increased stress, loneliness, and emotional strain. Social pressures, financial worries, disrupted routines, and memories of loved ones who have passed can all contribute to heightened sadness or emotional withdrawal.

For individuals already living with depression or managing conditions with emotional sensitivity such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), the holiday season can amplify symptoms and make coping more difficult.

Recognizing the signs early helps ensure that you or someone you care about can access support before symptoms escalate.

Why Depression Often Gets Worse During the Holiday Season

Several holiday-related factors can intensify depressive symptoms:

  • Heightened expectations to feel happy or festive
  • Grief reminders, especially when holidays highlight the absence of loved ones
  • Seasonal changes in light exposure that affect mood
  • Financial pressure from gift-giving or travel
  • Family conflict or unresolved relational stress
  • Loneliness or isolation, especially for those far from family
  • Disruptions to routine, like sleep, eating, or exercise
  • Emotional sensitivity tied to conditions like BPD, where interpersonal stressors feel more intense

Understanding the reasons behind emotional changes helps reduce self-blame and encourages people to seek support earlier.

Common Signs of Depression to Watch For

Depression affects everyone differently, but there are common emotional, physical, and behavioral signs that may appear or intensify around the holidays:

  1. Persistent Feelings of Sadness or Hopelessness
    A person may appear down most of the day, lose interest in activities they once enjoyed, or express feelings of emptiness. These changes may be more noticeable during events where joy is expected.
  2. Social Withdrawal or Isolation
    Turning down invitations, avoiding social events, or withdrawing from friends and family can signal emotional overwhelm. Individuals with depression may feel disconnected even when surrounded by others.
  3. Irritability, Mood Swings, or Emotional Intensity
    Depression doesn’t always look like sadness. For some—especially those with heightened emotional sensitivity such as individuals with BPD—it may show up as frustration, anger, or sudden mood shifts.
  4. Changes in Sleep or Appetite
    Sleeping too much or too little, overeating, or loss of appetite are common indicators that mood is being affected.
  5. Low Energy or Fatigue
    Chronic exhaustion, difficulty getting out of bed, or a lack of motivation can signal depression, particularly when stress accumulates during the holidays.
  6. Difficulty Concentrating or Making Decisions
    Holiday tasks—gift planning, schedules, travel coordination—can feel overwhelming when depression affects cognitive functioning.
  7. Increased Use of Alcohol or Substances
    Some people may turn to alcohol or substances to cope. This can worsen depression and increase risk for relapse among individuals with a history of substance use.
  8. Thoughts of Self-Harm or Suicide
    Any expression of hopelessness, feeling like a burden, or thoughts of self-harm should be taken seriously. Immediate support is essential.

How to Support Yourself If You’re Feeling Depressed

While depression can feel overwhelming, there are effective ways to manage symptoms during the holiday season:

  1. Set Realistic Expectations
    You do not have to attend every gathering or participate in every tradition. Give yourself permission to simplify plans and focus on activities that feel meaningful and manageable.
  2. Maintain Healthy Routines
    Sleep, nutrition, hydration, and physical activity all play key roles in mood stability. Even small habits—like a daily walk—can create grounding and structure.
  3. Limit Stressful Situations
    If certain gatherings or conversations trigger emotional distress, consider setting boundaries: shorter visits, alternative plans, or declining invitations altogether.
  4. Stay Connected to Supportive People
    Sharing how you feel with a trusted friend or family member can reduce isolation. For individuals living with depression or BPD, external emotional support is especially important during periods of seasonal stress.
  5. Seek Professional Help
    A therapist or clinician can help you understand your symptoms, identify triggers, and develop coping strategies. If your symptoms escalate, professional support is a crucial next step.
  6. Plan Ahead for Emotional Moments
    The holidays may bring up grief, loneliness, or memories of harder times. You can prepare by creating grounding strategies, journaling prompts, or comfort activities to use when emotions rise.

How to Support a Loved One Showing Signs of Depression

If someone you care about seems emotionally distant or overwhelmed:

  • Reach out gently and consistently
  • Listen without trying to fix or minimize their feelings
  • Offer practical support (rides, planning help, daily check-ins)
  • Encourage professional care if symptoms persist
  • Validate their experience instead of pushing them to be “cheerful”
    A simple message—“I’m here for you”—can make an enormous difference.

Local Santa Barbara Resources for Mental Health Support

Local (Santa Barbara & Central Coast)

  • National Mental Health Support Resources
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
    • Helpline, online resources, and family support
    • 1-800-950-NAMI
    • https://nami.org
  • SAMHSA Treatment Services Locator

Frequently Asked Questions About Depression During the Holidays

The holidays bring increased stress, changes in routine, financial pressures, and social expectations. These factors can intensify feelings of sadness or overwhelm for anyone, especially individuals already living with depression. People with conditions involving emotional sensitivity, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), may also experience stronger reactions to seasonal stress.

Signs may include persistent sadness, emotional numbness, social withdrawal, fatigue, changes in appetite or sleep, irritability, difficulty concentrating, or loss of interest in usual activities. These symptoms may become more noticeable when holiday events create added pressure to appear cheerful.

Holiday stress is typically temporary and resolves once the season ends. Depression lasts longer, interferes with daily functioning, and includes symptoms such as hopelessness, persistent low mood, or loss of interest in activities. If these signs continue for more than two weeks, or if you are unsure, a mental health evaluation can help clarify what you’re experiencing.

People with BPD often experience heightened emotional sensitivity and may react more strongly to interpersonal stress, changes in routine, or perceived rejection. The intensity of holiday gatherings or family dynamics can deepen feelings of loneliness, sadness, or overwhelm. Support, boundaries, and structured coping strategies can help manage these reactions.

Reach out gently, listen without judgment, validate their feelings, and encourage them to seek support. Offer practical help, such as accompanying them to appointments or checking in regularly. If they express hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm, seek immediate crisis support.

You should reach out to a mental health provider if symptoms last more than two weeks, affect daily functioning, or feel unmanageable. If you experience suicidal thoughts or severe emotional distress, contact crisis services immediately by calling or texting 988.

Yes. Therapy, medication, lifestyle strategies, and support groups can all help manage depression. Individuals living with depression or borderline personality disorder can benefit from evidence-based treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), DBT skills, or support from community mental health programs.